The Criterion Assortment pretended to be releasing Kindergarten Cop into {the catalogue}, just for it to be rapidly revealed as a prank.
It’s not a tumor! Greater than a decade in the past, The Criterion Assortment included 1990’s Kindergarten Cop. In fact, because it was clearly an April Idiot’s Day prank, Ivan Reitman’s film would by no means make it to the beloved boutique label. However that doesn’t imply Criterion didn’t put all their efforts into their fake launch.
For starters, it had completely killer cowl artwork that includes Arnold Schwarzenegger in drawing kind, full with a infantile coloring job. Flip over to the again of the field and also you’d discover a really ingenious write-up that positioned Kindergarten Cop as way more complicated than authentic audiences thought:
“Traditionally, the policier and the household comedy have been two distinct classes. Then, in 1990, Kindergarten Cop gave us all a lesson in style revisionism. With muscular sensitivity, Hollywood’s final motion hero Arnold Schwarzenegger embodies detective John Kimble, who’s compelled to go undercover as a trainer of five-year-olds so as to catch a ponytailed drug supplier. Although it’s distinguished by pulse-pounding suspense, a Crayola-bright palette by cinematographer Michael Chapman (Taxi Driver), and trenchant observations about schooling within the Bush I period, the movie’s emotional heart is Schwarzenegger’s gruff but good-tempered interplay with a category filled with precocious scamps, together with a tumor-forewarning death-obsessive and a genitalia professional. By leavening a kids’s movie with sufficient violence to please even probably the most cold-hearted bastard, director Ivan Reitman reveals that he refuses to paint contained in the traces.”
However Criterion didn’t cease there with Kindergarten Cop, even giving it a bevy of particular options and a 5.1 encompass DTS-HD audio switch. These particular options included a brand new commentary with then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, excerpts from a French TV interview with Ivan Reitman, a brand new documentary with famed detective Frank Serpico and San Francisco police legend Dave Toschi (performed by Mark Ruffalo in David Fincher’s Zodiac), a bit on the imaginary cuts made to make sure a family-friendly ranking, a mock overview from iconic movie critic James Agee (who died in 1955…), and extra. Whereas this may solely be a prank, Kino Lorber really gave Kindergarten Cop the Blu-ray remedy in 2024; sadly, the one particular options have been two audio commentaries and a trailer.
In 2013, Criterion chosen 1984’s C.H.U.D. as their April Idiot’s Day prank. Sadly, it’s been over a decade since they’ve performed these, but it surely’d be cool in the event that they bought again into the enjoyable.
