Mother Refuses to Let Daughter Sleep Over at In-Legal guidelines’ Home, however They Maintain Asking

A mom on Reddit is questioning if she’s within the fallacious for repeatedly denying her in-laws’ request to have her 5-year-old daughter over for sleepovers.

The mother took to Reddit’s r/AmIOverreacting discussion board to clarify the state of affairs, noting that she and her husband “have been collectively nearly 20 years” and welcomed their first youngster 5 years in the past.

“Since principally day one, my in-laws (however particularly FIL) have requested to have sleep overs together with her,” the mom explains within the put up.

“FIL is a step dad or mum to my husband so already a bit eliminated for a grandparent sleepover in my view,” she continues. “They moved their whole lives to be nearer to us after our daughter was born which I initially cherished. However they don’t have any sense of boundaries and is usually a lot.”

The choice to disclaim her in-laws the best to a sleepover is not simply out of concern for her daughter’s well-being. The poster explains that her daughter has had points adjusting to a sleep schedule, and he or she’s nervous about throwing it off by permitting sleepovers.

“My accomplice and I are on the identical web page that we have now spent quite a lot of time on getting her into sleep routine however it’s not nice,” she writes. “We’d reasonably stick together with her schedule and let her spend as a lot time as she desires with them principally.”

Regardless of the couple’s agency stance, her in-laws “gained’t depart me alone concerning the sleepovers.”

“They stopped asking my husband ‘as a result of he mentioned no’ but proceed to hound me,” she shares. “Am I loopy for considering it’s bizarre af for adults to be asking/demanding a sleepover with my youngster?”

No matter her in-laws’ insistence, she clarifies that she’s “firmly within the ‘no sleepovers for anybody’ camp,” no matter household relation. “I’m going to maintain her secure at the beginning. However in addition they make me really feel like an a-hole so I assume I’m checking myself.”

The feedback on the put up are squarely on the mom’s aspect, with many mentioning that her in-laws’ repeated requests to get her daughter alone may very well be an indication of one thing extra sinister.

“In relation to abuse, the clearest purple flag is inisistence and/or manipulation to get alone with a toddler,” one consumer cautions within the feedback. “That’s very often the one purple flag you get.”

Even when the worst-case situation is not true, different commenters identified that the continued asking remains to be an indicator that their boundaries will not be revered.

“Properly I can communicate from my expertise, my mom is precisely like this. It wasn’t abusive in a worst-case situation, however her insistence on sleep overs and all the pieces taking place at their home is as a result of she doesn’t wish to be instructed what to do,” one other commenter shares. “She doesn’t respect what we are saying.”