Saturday, February 8, 2025

Envious Dancing – The Dancing Grapevine

Dance could cause quite a lot of emotional responses. A number of the time, we give attention to the enjoyment; generally we name these “dance highs”. However, each excessive has a low. A type of lows may be envy.

What triggers envy?

The triggers for envy may be delicate or apparent, and might look very totally different relying on the particular person. You may really feel envy:

  • When another person works much less exhausting, however is extra standard or a greater dancer;
  • After dropping a contest (or, merely failing to do properly);
  • When your friends are succeeding extra rapidly than you;
  • a accomplice who appears to be the glorified one in a partnership; or,
  • When your “dance crush” appears to have a greater reference to another person.

This isn’t an exhaustive checklist; jealousy can take many, many kinds.

Generally, that envy can coexist with very actual prejudices. For instance, younger ladies who’re thought of stereotypically engaging – particularly if they’re additionally a robust dancer or very proficient – usually appeal to a really vital diploma of jealousy as a result of they’re perceived as extra standard and accessing higher dances.

A few of this envy may be the results of discrimination confronted by ladies who would not have a number of of the privileges these ladies do. For instance, a bigger or older physique could face the next diploma of discrimination – and exacerbate deep-seated insecurities which are the results of systemic social points.

“Dangerous” Envy

Opposite to what many assume, envy and jealousy should not inherently “dangerous”. They’re emotions; they’re a pure response to our circumstances, notion, and conditions. Individuals who have discovered tips on how to course of envy are typically capable of acknowledge and title the sensation – and permit it to be felt with out internalizing or externalizing it in an unhealthy means. For instance, a dancer who sees somebody begin 4 years later than them and change into much more standard at social dancing could possibly mirror:

Man, that particular person is so standard socially; I’m not. This makes me really feel jealous as a result of I wish to have that have. I wish to be the favored dancer, particularly since I work so exhausting at this. It doesn’t really feel so nice to really feel like my effort isn’t acknowledged.

Nonetheless, for people who find themselves much less comfy with the sensation, it may well change into harmful. When directed internally, it may well trigger intense emotions of disgrace, self-hatred, or worthlessness. For instance:

Gosh, I’m such a nasty particular person. A very good particular person wouldn’t be jealous of their success. A very good particular person would solely be blissful for them. This implies I have to be faulty or flawed; I don’t should be included locally when I’ve such a nasty angle.

Some folks may internalize it by evaluating themselves to these perceived traits, and feeling they’ll by no means “measure up” as a result of they’re inherently flawed in different methods.

Conversely, if an individual views envy as a nasty factor however is unable to self-reflect as a result of it threatens their sense of safety, they could direct it outwards. This could usually appear like blaming or discovering a purpose to justify channeling envy to anger:

They’re solely standard as a result of they put on revealing garments and are sizzling and younger. They don’t care about dance; they’re a shallow individual that doesn’t deserve this success. They’ve simply bought everybody wrapped round their finger – and there’s plenty of shallow dancers that solely care about getting them into mattress.

Each internalization and externalization of envy as a “dangerous” emotion can result in quite a lot of issues. For those who internalize it, they could discover themselves spiralling right into a dance melancholy (or, actual melancholy) the place the enjoyment is sucked from the expertise as a result of they’re unable to take a seat with feeling one thing that could be very pure and regular. For those who externalize it, they could change into judgmental, indignant, vindictive, and harm different folks’s emotional wellbeing (or, in excessive instances, whole communities).

So, what do I do with my jealousy?

Properly, that relies upon. It relies on the way you course of feelings, and what motivates you in a wholesome course. Should you have no idea what that appears like for you, you could wish to contemplate discovering a therapist or self-studying. This may embrace issues like podcasts, books, movies, and extra. Finally, dance may be therapeutic – however it’s not an alternative choice to remedy, and it’s unlikely to develop wholesome emotional coping mechanisms by itself.

Listed below are some some self-reflective questions that I take advantage of to course of emotions of jealousy:

  • What’s the “factor” that’s making me jealous?
  • Is that this factor one thing that I may attain, if I give attention to working in direction of it?
  • If it’s not attainable, what can I do to maneuver previous the sensation of jealousy in a constructive means?
  • Do I really feel like they don’t “deserve” it? Why do I really feel that means?
  • Am I feeling anger or resentment together with the jealousy? Has the particular person completed something to me that will clarify these emotions, or is it about one thing aside from my relationship with them?
  • Am I feeling another feelings together with the jealousy that will mirror a necessity or need that I ought to handle?

Envy in Stability

Finally, feeling jealous doesn’t make anybody a nasty particular person. However, it may well get in the way in which of getting a constructive dance expertise and constructing wholesome interpersonal relationships. However, if we mirror inwards and discover ways to course of this tough emotion, we are able to settle for it – and ourselves – and transfer in direction of a extra constructive relationship with dance – and ourselves.

For instance, some wholesome expressions of jealousy can embrace:

  • Seeing somebody who’s doing very well, and utilizing it as inspiration to work tougher
  • Studying tips on how to construct relationships with folks that encourage us, somewhat than tearing them down
  • Having the ability to acknowledge and title the emotion, sit with it, and let it go as a pure cycle
  • Differentiating emotions of envy from demonizing the particular person

So, the subsequent time you have got the pangs of jealousy, resist the urge to be exhausting on them – or your self. Contemplate taking a second to consider the visceral emotional response, and perceive your self. You – and your dance neighborhood – will thanks for it.

Related Articles

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Articles