It was a Meghan Trainor tune that first sparked 31-year-old April (who goes by @AprilLauren on TikTok) to take to social media and clarify the issues she “will not do” for her husband.
“I used to be bored touring for work and had Meghan Trainor’s ‘Pricey Future Husband’ tune caught in my head,” she tells PEOPLE. “There’s a line that talks about how she additionally has a full-time job so do not anticipate her to be at dwelling within the kitchen, which made me take into consideration how my husband and I deal with family tasks since we each work full-time jobs, and the way a lot altering issues saved our marriage.”
So, April filmed a fast video to add to TikTok, wherein she eats lunch whereas explaining that she is her husband’s “spouse, not his mother,” and due to this fact approaches chores on a person foundation.
“Primary: I do not do his laundry,” April says within the video. “I used to do his laundry. We have been married for six years and within the first 12 months of marriage, he would get pissed off if I did not get to the laundry that week … and I used to be like, ‘Mmm, no. I am not your mother. Do your individual laundry.’ ”
Elsewhere within the video, April explains how she does her laundry and her youngest kid’s laundry however that her husband and their eldest son every do their very own.
“Now, if I would like some additional garments to throw in a load, I am going to throw his in there with mine,” she provides. “However I do not do his laundry on a weekly foundation anymore.”
April provides that she doesn’t “comply with up behind him and clear up after him,” saying, “His nightstand has cups and stuff on it. That is his duty to get it to the sink.”
“Quantity three: I don’t clear his sink,” April says. “We’ve got separate rest room sinks, I will not clear his … Once more: I am not your mom. I’m your spouse. I am not your mother. You’re a large boy.”
She continues: “And he is aware of this. He is aware of all this stuff.”
Chatting with PEOPLE, April says she did not anticipate the video to get even 200 views, not to mention the greater than 6 million it has now.
“I did not understand it could be such a polarizing matter,” she says, noting that the feedback have been “so combined.”
“Individuals really feel very strongly a method or one other however the individuals who disagree have really gone as far as to insult me, harass me, encourage my husband to cheat on me and divorce me and truthfully that is wild,” she says.
Nonetheless, she says that the “many ladies who agree and others who’ve been impressed” by the video make the criticism nicely price it.
“The unfavorable feedback do not really trouble me as a result of folks took such a small portion of my life/marriage and made assumptions,” she provides.
As April explains, in her first 12 months of marriage, “I took on that conventional spouse position and did my ‘wifely duties.’ ”
“Then at some point, my husband was irritated that he did not have sufficient clear garments for the following day and that is once I realized the invisible expectation was there and informed him he may begin doing his personal laundry and cleansing up after himself,” she provides. “I harbored loads of resentment due to that first 12 months being the lady at all times on the transfer cleansing, doing laundry, and many others. — and now our marriage is healthier for it.”
As April explains, their present association is one which works for each of them. “He did his personal laundry earlier than we acquired married, so he can do it now. 5 years later and he thinks it was really loopy for me to have taken on all these issues that he’s able to doing himself,” she says.
April’s husband has joined her in viewing most of the feedback — even bringing the dialogue to the dinner desk, with their youngsters. “We’re elevating succesful sons and a robust daughter and these folks commenting are elevating the potential future husbands and wives of our youngsters,” she says.
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Nonetheless, April acknowledges that her content material is totally different from another viral movies on TikTok — specifically, these displaying wives and moms taking up uber-traditional roles.
“If different girls select to dwell the ‘tradwife’ life that’s their enterprise, however I personally am elevating my sons to deal with themselves and my daughter to by no means bow right down to a person simply because that is what society has dictated,” she says. “This is not a person’s world anymore and getting married should not be a labor contract for a girl.”
She continues: “Many ladies have stated that they’re doing all of the issues for his or her husband out of affection however I usually marvel, what in the event that they stopped? How would their husbands react after which would they see the invisible expectation that was really there all alongside?”